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Drifters By emeponto 💀





Episodio 1x1 2022-11-27 02:55:59

"I think I've pooed my harness!"

Episodio 1x1 2022-11-27 03:18:07

- So... I was wondering if I could have my old job back?
- I thought you said this work was demoralising, underpaid and humiliating?
- It is... and I would like to do it full-time if possible?

Episodio 1x1 2022-11-27 03:20:52

- Are you breaking up with me?
- How can I break up with you, Mark, we're not even together!
- I thought you were just playing hard to get.
- That's how you interpret zero written or verbal contact for six months?!
- So this whole relationship's just a one-way street, is it?
- It's a fucking cul-de-sac, Mark!

Episodio 1x2 2022-11-28 03:52:46

"Maybe he's into phone sex."

Episodio 1x2 2022-11-28 04:14:51

- Good shag?
- I was good.

Episodio 1x3 2022-11-29 02:23:24

"This whole situation is a waste of life."

Episodio 1x4 2022-11-30 02:35:04

- Soz I'm late - bus driver wouldn't let me on.
- Why not?
- Cos I "didn't have the fare".
- Petty.

Episodio 1x5 2022-12-01 04:00:19

- At least she's getting some good sex. I can't even bring myself to look at Gary at the moment.
- Oh, no, is it all off again?
- Practically.
- I mean, I can manage doggy, cos I don't have to look at him, but he knows that means I'm pissed off.

Episodio 1x5 2022-12-01 04:19:34

- Meg, I thought we talked about this, I don't fancy you, sorry.
- Yes, and I'm not a lesbian. These are totally platonic slut drops.

Episodio 1x6 2022-12-02 01:40:22

- Sorry, I sound surprised, don't I?
- Very.
- Sorry, I'm just really surprised.

Episodio 1x6 2022-12-03 03:32:38

"I just feel... sexy, and... you won't believe this, Meg... she likes it up the bum."

Episodio 2x1 2022-12-03 02:50:23

"That is one lucky bitch of a banjo."

Episodio 2x2 2022-12-04 03:16:35

"It's a new low. I had to do the sprint of shame."

Episodio 2x2 2022-12-04 03:17:16

- I don't want you to get your hopes up about Scott. It's just me and him are like...
- Never going to fuck?

Episodio 2x2 2022-12-04 03:37:24

"I don't think I've ever been this bored. Might just have to have a wank in the bathroom."

Episodio 2x2 2022-12-04 03:47:18

"Oh, God, the grief! Counsel me, Scott!"

Episodio 2x3 2022-12-05 01:50:09

- It's still a rapists' paradise, isn't it?
- There's always that risk, Meg. It's the downside to having a twat.

Episodio 2x3 2022-12-05 01:51:58

"Oh, come on, Meg, get involved. It's the 20th century. It's no coincidence that your absence from the world of cyber-courtship correlates directly with the absence of penis up inside your vag."

Episodio 2x3 2022-12-05 02:11:56

"Adrian might not be Alex Reid. But he's a good man. Maybe a great man. And he knows his way around my twat."

Episodio 2x4 2022-12-06 02:54:57

"It's 10pm, Mark. You can't go out at 10pm! What are you, Spanish?"

Episodio 2x5 2022-12-07 01:46:45

"Like I've always said Laura, by all means have fun, but organise it properly first."

Episodio 3x1 2022-12-09 01:56:59

- Hating someone is not enough of a reason to not sleep with them.
- Agreed, you can still sleep with people you hate. I do it with Gary all the time.

Episodio 3x2 2022-12-09 22:35:27

- It's just, I haven't eaten for a day and I'm really hungry and I'm scared about not having a job and I think I might die.
- In other words, you need a good night out.
- Really? Because what it feels I need is a good meal in.
- Let's all meet in town and we'll take you for a makeover to take your mind off the fact that you have no money and no future.
- OK.
- And wear something slutty so the boys will buy us drinks.
- Might they buy us food?

Episodio 3x3 2022-12-11 02:41:01

- Have you been spaffing to porn again? You're meant to be on a porn diet. You're addicted.
- I'm not addicted, it's my hobby.

Episodio 3x3 2022-12-11 02:45:10

"He just can't seem to get excited by the real thing anymore. It's all just a bit... vanilla. I've seen things, Laura, things I can't... unsee."

Episodio 3x3 2022-12-11 02:49:30

"I want to have sex with her life."

Episodio 3x4 2022-12-11 23:09:58

- I'm going.
- Well, thanks for the farting gift.

Episodio 3x5 2022-12-13 03:04:57

"What's the problem with Andrew, love? He's had therapy now."

Episodio 3x6 2022-12-14 07:05:14

"It's insania. I'm getting fanny-blocked left, right and centro."

Episodio 3x6 2022-12-14 07:05:49

"Sorry, God. Not that you can possibly exist."

Episodio 3x6 2022-12-14 07:20:36

"I genuinely enjoyed myself tonight. Albeit out of spite."

Episodio 4x1 2022-12-15 07:03:04

"It's OK if you've got a micro-penis, I can work around it."

Episodio 4x1 2022-12-15 07:03:23

"OK, guys, I am really interested in this, but ME now."

Episodio 4x2 2022-12-16 04:31:43

"I can read you like a blog, Meg."

Episodio 4x4 2023-01-01 02:51:04

"Sorry, I appear to have wandered into a Freudian nightmare."

Episodio 4x5 2023-01-03 03:31:16

"My little brother is married and procreating and all I have to show for myself is a mostly fictitious CV and a sponsored dolphin who, frankly, I don't think exists."


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emeponto 💀

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